I let myself get punked for so many years

I let myself get punked for so many years. I didn’t have anybody to really stand up for me, connect with me, or support me. I was left to figure it all out, so I was vulnerable to all the poisoning of foster carer, peers , so-called family ,and society, all those doubtful years of not accepting myself for this or that, all the shame I felt as a child because I was supposed to be a mule for mother and for others as opposed to just being a child a teenager and a young adult, I always knew something was a little off, I am not dysfunctional alot of my problems stem from the fact lack of proper parental guidance rather than dysfunction  as everybody wanted to use me for was as a

ATMS
MAID
BABYSITTERS
COUSELORS

Things are different now I alot older, wiser and greyer I have set boundaries, I helped people because I was being alturistic, I helped my mother because I felt sorry for her, I was acting on my morals and ethics not for her to turn around and try to destroy me, I valued my so-called family because I valued them I did not realised then that they did not value me.

So before I blame myself, I have to understand I only did what I thought was right.

My mother said to me non –stop for 10 years ‘I’m dying’ , 'I' m dying' and would break down in tears she knew how emotionally abusive this was to me I was only a child, but she did not care she only care about her pain not her children adults should never lean on children and ask them to lift them up that’s CHILD’S ABUSE my mother was half right she was dying but she actually dead and the last time I checked I am not a medium and I do not speak to the dead.

Joy': Women Talk About Divorcing Their Moms

https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/life-without-my-mother-is-a-joy-women-talk-about-divorcing-their-moms?utm_source=dmfb